Blitz for Get Real (Get Real #1) by Tellulah Darling

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Get Real by Tellulah Darling
TITLE: Get Real
SERIES: Get Real #1
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: September 26, 2015
PUBLISHER: Te Da Media
GENRE: Comedy, New Adult, Paranormal, Romance
BUY LINKS: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
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DESCRIPTION

Magic and Mayhem in Manhattan

Francesca Bellafiore comes from a nice Jewish family — one that happens to have magical powers. Underneath her good-girl exterior, though, she’s a wannabe badass with dreams of becoming a paranormal detective.

Party boy Rafael Muñoz does everything possible to publicly disappoint his high profile father. Privately, it’s a different story. His carefully crafted bad boy reputation masks the fact he’s a master illusionist, forced into solo covert ops. The role is wearing thin and Rafael longs to be part of a team.

When Francesca and Rafael meet, it’s love at first sight… For about five minutes. Rafael is spectacularly attractive—and, Francesca discovers, fully aware of the fact. Rafael knows from experience that girls like Francesca are more trouble than they’re worth.

So it sucks big time when they’re caught in a web of magic, minions, secrets, and enough sexual tension to power NYC. Their only chance to save the city and survive is to team up, trust each other–and maybe even fall in love.
Provided they don’t kill each other first.

Get Real is a romantic comedy, urban fantasy whirlwind with sass, sex, and swoon.

EXCERPT

POV: Francesca
The moon was full. I’d lost my cardigan somewhere in the house but this late in June, the night before the summer solstice, it was warm. The thump of bass and tinkling laughter from the party kept me company, but I was alone until a familiar weight crushed my lap.

The swing jolted sideways.
“Give us a sip,” Devi said, sprawling across me. “I’m parched.”
I half–heartedly shoved her. “There’s this amazing old–school technology called a tap. It pours water to quench your thirst.”


“It’s too crowded in there. And some obnoxious ass is juggling kegs. This does not bode well for the rest of the evening.”
Great. I’d probably end up on healing duty. 
Devi slid off me and swung her legs onto my lap, nestling against the green cushions resting along our backs. She held out her hand imperiously.
I handed over my soda. “Any sign of the target? Or his friends?” I asked.
“No sightings yet.” Eli slumped down on my other side. He flicked my knee to get me to move my leg from under his, since he’d sat on it. Then he snatched the bottle from Devi before I could grab it, and took a long swig.

Eli sputtered at the taste of it. “Coke,” he said with the same disgust reserved for “herpes.”
I wiped off my arm with a grimace.

“Where’s Byron?” I asked.
Eli set the bottle down between us. “Last I saw, she was pretending to hostess but really watching the front door like a hawk waiting for her boy toy to show.”


Byron gracefully sat down into the teak chair to my left, placing her own drink on the low table in front of us with a gentle clink of ice. She’d changed from her more casual sundress into dark skinny jeans and a sparkly black top, her hair curled in gentle waves. What a good–looking bunch we were.

“Hardly a hawk,” she said.

“A lady hawk.” Eli leaned forward to inspect the dark liquid.
“Rum and coke,” Byron said, sliding her glass away from him. “And off limits to boys who insult.” I leaned my head on Eli’s shoulder. “This is nice. Who knows how many more moments we’ll have like this for a while?”


Eli slung his arm around me. Devi reached up to take his hand, while Byron swung a foot onto his lap, as we all watched a couple dance in lazy turns on the lawn to the dubstep pounding from the living room.

I was really lucky to have them, these friends who loved me for who I was, pointless boiler aspirations and all. I sighed, all warm and snug.

Then some guy stepped into the back doorway, framed by the soft light over the door and I forgot these people existed. Hip braced against the wood, he lounged all cocky arrogance. He wore dark straight–leg jeans, hanging low on his lean hips, and exposing a glimpse of hard abs under a T–shirt reading More Issues Than Vogue.

I laughed softly, even as my stomach clenched in swoony delight.
I couldn’t tell his eye color but he had black hair, cut short on the sides and longer on top.
He flexed a hand, rubbing it roughly over the top of his head. It left his soft–looking strands all mussed up. Even his fierce scowl didn’t detract from his looks. Though he wasn’t my usual pretty boy type.

The more I watched him from my cover of the shadowed swing, the more his smoldering dark looks made “pretty” kind of boring. “Figo,” I sighed. “Who is that? But don’t—”

Every single pair of my friends’ eyes swung toward him.
“… Stare,” I said.
“Hey.” Byron bounced on the seat at the sight of him. “That means Jones must be here.”


She glanced around.
Eli clamped a hand down on her as she tried to get up. “Play it cool.”


She grumbled but stayed put.


Devi swung her head between the unknown beautiful boy and me. “Do tell. I’m intrigued by any male who gets Frankie so hot and bothered.”


“Am…” I started to protest, but got distracted by the view as he turned around.
My friends snickered.
“Not,” I finished.


“Yeah you ‘am,’” Eli said. “Name him already Byron, so that Frankie may harness his body for unspeakable acts.”


I waved a flustered hand at him. “Shut up.”


Devi half–raised her hand. “Wait. I want her to speak them. The acts.” She took my hand and placed it on Eli’s leg. “Or just point out on Eli where you’d like to touch this guy.”


I snatched my hand back with a long–suffering look. “Who is he?”


Byron lowered her voice. Not like he could hear us. “You must have heard of him. Rafael Muñoz?” Devi’s eyes widened. “That’s Javier’s infamous kid, Rafa?”


I deflated. Only because of his reputation and not at all because he now chatted with a supermodel–gorgeous blonde. “Could he invade her personal space any more?”


I guzzled down the dregs of my Coke.


“Don’t think of Rafa as marriage material, more like ‘for a good time call,’” Byron said.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tellulah Darling
Tellulah Darling: noun

Sassy girls. Swoony boys. What could go wrong?

1) YA & New Adult romantic comedy author because her first kiss sucked and she’s compensating.
2) Firm believer that some of the best stories happen when love meets comedy and awkwardness ensues.
3) Sassy minx.

Both a hopeless romantic and total cynic, Tellulah Darling is all about the happily-ever-after, with a huge dose of hilarity along the way. Her romcoms come in a variety of flavours and heat levels.

Contact Links: Website | Twitter | Facebook | GoodReads | Instagram

GIVEAWAY

Enter to win a signed copy of Get Real and a Get Real wristband with a quote from the book.

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Pre-Order Alert for Get Real by Tellulah Darling

I have an important message here from the awesome Tellulah Darling! She is doing a pre-order campaign for her next novel, Get Real. Let’s face it, we don’t really need extra incentive to pre-order it, but Tellulah is providing it anyway! Without further ado, Tellulah Darling’s “Easy as 1-2-3 Get Real pre-order giveaway!”

Get Real 1

Hello, lovelies!

Back in June, I promised everyone who pre-ordered Get Real a treat, now it’s time to deliver. This is the book of my heart and I’m so excited for it to get out into the world.

And it’s as easy as 1-2-3!

FROM AUGUST 25 (TODAY!) UNTIL SEPTEMBER 25, 2015 (because the book releases on September 26):

  1. Take a screenshot or photo of your Get Real pre-order receipt.
  2. Email it to me at td@tellulahdarling.com.
  3. Let me email you my exclusive original romantic comedy short story Better Than Chocolate. (4 out of 5 hopeless romantics agree it’s filled with sass and swoon. Plus it’s totally stand-alone with no connection to any of her existing worlds.)

That’s it! It’s that simple.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!!!

 

BOOK PIMP SPECIAL! The first 50 people to:

  1. Convince a friend to pre-order Get Real.
  2. Tell the friend to send their screenshot/photo to td@tellulahdarling.com for their short story and mention your name as their book pimp.
  3. Will receive from me (in thanks for book pimpage) one of these limited edition (first 50 people part) truly awesome wristbands, containing a quote by the very swoony Rafael. Look. Here’s a photo of one:

Get Real 2

You get the entire quote – half on one side of the bracelet and half on the other.

And I’ll autograph it for you.

Need a copy? Get Real is available until the release date at the following retailers for pre-order: Amazon | iTunes | Kobo

So get ordering and get your fab swag today. All the good karma in the universe to you for spreading the word about Get Real.

xo

Tellulah

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Nerd Blast – My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1) by Tellulah Darling (with giveaway)

I am so excited to be a part of this blitz. I adore this series. You can read my review here. Right now, My Ex From Hell is on sale for $0.99 and I highly recommend you grab it while it’s cheap. It’s worth much more than 99 pennies.

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My Ex From Hell by Tellulah Darling
TITLE: My Ex From Hell
SERIES: The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: April 1, 2013
PUBLISHER: Te Da Media
BUY LINKS: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iBooks
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DESCRIPTION

Sixteen-year-old Sophie Bloom wishes she’d been taught the following:
a) Bad boy’s presence (TrOuBlE) + teen girl’s brain (DraMa) = TrAuMa (Highly unstable and very volatile.) b) The Genus Greekulum Godissimus is notable for three traits: 1) awesome abilities, 2) grudges, and 3) hook-ups, break-ups, and in-fighting that puts cable to shame.

Prior to the Halloween dance, Sophie figures her worst problems involve adolescent theatrics, bitchy teen yoga girls, and being on probation at her boarding school for mouthy behaviour. Then she meets bad boy Kai and gets the kiss that rocks her world.

Literally.

This breath stealing lip lock reawakens Sophie’s true identity: Persephone, Goddess of Spring. She’s key to saving humanity in the war between the Underworld and Olympus, target numero uno of Hades and Zeus, and totally screwed.

Plus there’s also the little issue that Sophie’s last memory as Persephone was just before someone tried to murder her.

Big picture: master her powers, get her memories back, defeat Persephone’s would be assassin, and save the world. Also, sneak into the Underworld to retrieve stolen property, battle the minions of Hades and Zeus, outwit psycho nymphs, slay a dragon, rescue a classmate, keep from getting her butt expelled from the one place designed to keep her safe …… and stop kissing Kai, Prince of the Underworld.

My Ex From Hell is a YA romantic comedy, Greek mythology smackdown. Love meets comedy with a whole lot of sass in book one of this teen fantasy romance series. Compared to Kai and Sophie, Romeo and Juliet had it easy.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tellulah Darling

Tellulah Darling
noun

Sassy girls. Swoony boys. What could go wrong?

1. YA romantic comedy author because her first kiss sucked and she’s compensating.
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter.
3. Sassy minx.

Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.

Tellulah Darling is a firm believer that some of the best stories happen when love meets comedy. Which is why she has so much fun writing YA romantic comedy books. Her books span contemporary, teen fantasy romance, and YA Greek mythology, and range from stand alones to series. For Tellulah, teen romance is the most passionate, intense, and awkward there is – a comedy goldmine. Plus smart, mouthy, teen girls rock.

Contact Links: Website | Twitter | Facebook | GoodReads

GIVEAWAY

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Blitz – My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1) by Tellulah Darling (with giveaway)

I am so excited to be a part of this blitz. I adore this series. You can read my review here.

My Ex From Hell by Tellulah Darling Blitz Banner

My Ex From Hell by Tellulah Darling
TITLE: My Ex From Hell
SERIES: The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: April 1, 2013
PUBLISHER: Te Da Media
BUY LINKS: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iBooks
Add To GoodReads icon

DESCRIPTION

Sixteen-year-old Sophie Bloom wishes she’d been taught the following:
a) Bad boy’s presence (TrOuBlE) + teen girl’s brain (DraMa) = TrAuMa (Highly unstable and very volatile.) b) The Genus Greekulum Godissimus is notable for three traits: 1) awesome abilities, 2) grudges, and 3) hook-ups, break-ups, and in-fighting that puts cable to shame.

Prior to the Halloween dance, Sophie figures her worst problems involve adolescent theatrics, bitchy teen yoga girls, and being on probation at her boarding school for mouthy behaviour. Then she meets bad boy Kai and gets the kiss that rocks her world.

Literally.

This breath stealing lip lock reawakens Sophie’s true identity: Persephone, Goddess of Spring. She’s key to saving humanity in the war between the Underworld and Olympus, target numero uno of Hades and Zeus, and totally screwed.

Plus there’s also the little issue that Sophie’s last memory as Persephone was just before someone tried to murder her.

Big picture: master her powers, get her memories back, defeat Persephone’s would be assassin, and save the world. Also, sneak into the Underworld to retrieve stolen property, battle the minions of Hades and Zeus, outwit psycho nymphs, slay a dragon, rescue a classmate, keep from getting her butt expelled from the one place designed to keep her safe …… and stop kissing Kai, Prince of the Underworld.

My Ex From Hell is a YA romantic comedy, Greek mythology smackdown. Love meets comedy with a whole lot of sass in book one of this teen fantasy romance series. Compared to Kai and Sophie, Romeo and Juliet had it easy.

EXCERPT

One minute, I was feeling all smug about my powers, the next, I caught sight of about a dozen Infernorators hovering just outside the fence like a firing squad. Yikes! I froze in terror as they advanced en masse toward me, reaching out their flaming tentacles.

Bless Theo and his wards. Their fire simply bounced harmlessly off the air above the fence. I really was in a giant protective shield. I smiled, thinly. My turn. I figured that since I had the upper hand, I should take these things out.

In my defense, it never even occurred to me that this was a two-way ward. In my head, it was all about me, me, me. So of course I’d be able to fire outwards.

Yeah … no. I sent my ribbons of light lashing out toward those bad boys. They hit the invisible shield at full speed, then bounced off it to rebound back at me.

That was the point at which I totally forgot how to control them and just yelped, wildly waving my hands around as I ducked and bobbed and tried not to trip over my own superpower.

A low laugh penetrated my fear. I glanced over, wide-eyed, to see Kai smirking from over by the back fence. For a second. The smirk quickly disappeared as I sent the creepers directly for him.

I will swear on a stack of bibles or whatever that I didn’t mean to take him out. It was instinctive. Better him a target than me.

“Duck!” I yelled feebly. He just glowered at me and put out his hand to stop them in their path. I might have felt like a busted bottle of Silly String, shooting these puppies out willy-nilly, but it was pretty impressive the way Kai had them twisting in place like that.

I stood there gaping until he growled, “Quit it” and I snapped back into action. I dropped my hands but that didn’t seem to blink the vines out of existence.

“Hurry up!” he snapped, the strain of holding them at bay wearing on him.

Honestly, I had no clue what to do. I tried to shoo them away from him. Less than successful. I only managed to redirect one toward a small sapling, which I then uprooted and used to conk him on the shoulder.

“Of all the useless …” he began.

“Who asked you to show up, anyway?” I shot back. Especially with me once again looking like Grimy, the eighth dwarf. I did the only thing I could think of at that point. Since I’d called the ribbons up with my energy, maybe I could draw them back in. I concentrated on pulling them back into me.

It worked. They dissipated in a rush. Their power flooded inside of me and knocked me back about twenty feet.

I landed like a rag doll. The wind was knocked out of me. I fluttered my eyes open several minutes later to find Kai frowning.

“That was stellar,” he commented. “Zeus and Hades won’t have to kill you. You’re a walking suicide mission.”

At the reminder of my nemeses, I turned my head back toward where the Infernorators had been.

“Forget it. The Pyrosim are gone,” he said, rubbing his shoulder. “You okay?”
“The tree didn’t help.”
“Oops. Sorry. You hid it well,” I said.

“I’m a god. I don’t show weakness. Around you,” he added, “that seems to be a survival skill.”

“Ha ha. Next time I’ll try and warn you if I’m getting ready to sprout. We could have a hand signal. I’ll bet the gods have great hand signals.”

“No.” Kai crossed his arms. End of discussion.

Or changing of subjects. “Why are you here?” I demanded, refusing his help as I struggled to sit up.

“I told you. Your whereabouts flash in my head.” “No. Here. Hope Park. What do you want?” “Answers. Why did you disappear on me?”
“Someone tried to hurt me. Maybe it was you.” “It wasn’t me,” he stated darkly.

“Whatever. Theo didn’t know what fate was in store for me so he got me out of dodge.”
“And you believe him?”
“Do you have a better explanation for all this? Two days ago, I had no idea who I really was. Theo sure wasn’t thrilled to learn what happened when you kissed me.”
Kai smirked. “It was my kiss that set this off?”
“Yes. You’re very manly. Good for you.”

“I think it’s good for you,” he insisted.

Then he kissed me.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tellulah Darling

Tellulah Darling
noun

Sassy girls. Swoony boys. What could go wrong?

1. YA romantic comedy author because her first kiss sucked and she’s compensating.
2. Alter ego of former screenwriter.
3. Sassy minx.

Writes about: where love meets comedy. Awkwardness ensues.

Tellulah Darling is a firm believer that some of the best stories happen when love meets comedy. Which is why she has so much fun writing YA romantic comedy books. Her books span contemporary, teen fantasy romance, and YA Greek mythology, and range from stand alones to series. For Tellulah, teen romance is the most passionate, intense, and awkward there is – a comedy goldmine. Plus smart, mouthy, teen girls rock.

Contact Links: Website | Twitter | Facebook | GoodReads

GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Xpresso Blog Tour button

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Review for My Life From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #3) by Tellulah Darling

My Life From Hell by Tellulah Darling

TITLE: My Life From Hell
SERIES: The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #3
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: March 20, 2014
PUBLISHER: Te Da Media
PAGES: 279 pages
FORMAT: E-ARC
SOURCE: Publisher via NetGalley
RATING: 5 bows

This is it, the final showdown is a week away and Sophie must prepare to forever win the battle and be humanity’s savior or die trying…and take everyone on the planet with her when she fails. No pressure, right? Add the stress of that on top of trying to heal from psycho Bethany’s stab wound, trying to get Kai to talk through his feelings, and working through the revelation that Felicity is actually Demeter (AKA Persephone’s mom) in disguise and this poor girl is literally developing stress rashes. Can she get it together and save the world or is humanity doomed?

I intentionally read this slowly trying to make it last longer. As excited as I was to get my hands on it, I was equally sad because I don’t really want Sophie’s journey to come to an end. Well…I do because a longer journey means more conflict and poor Soph has been through enough, but I know I will miss her wit and her charm and her massive amounts of snark. Yes, I can (and probably will) re-read the novels, but it’s not the same, you know? I’m going to try to keep my weepy, maudlin-ness to a minimum, because it won’t do the book justice, but I suspect it might creep in here and there.

If we thought Sophie had been put through the ringer before, we were sorely mistaken. Here, Sophie more or less gets shoved into Persephone’s last week of life and the fall out from having to see Kai loving her or Demeter actually showing affection should be enough to send her over the deep end. Add that to the stress that she still must figure out a way to save humanity and I’m surprised she never seriously contemplated suicide. Not our Soph, though, because she’s too determined and resilient to give up. She’ll save the world or die trying, and force her friends to help, even if they can’t remember who she is.

The Kai we get is a mash-up between book 1 dickhead Kai and book 2 charming and swoony Kai. He’s obviously still not recovered from the knowledge that Persephone planned to betray him and takes a good bit of that frustration out on our undeserving Sophie. He gets better, though, and he’s good-guy side takes over once again. You know all those banners up right now that say “I sigh for Kai” for Wendy Higgins Sweet Evil Trilogy? Well I want one, but for this trilogy because this Kai is beyond sigh-worthy. That speech he makes to Sophie at the end?
Beauty & The Best Swoon Gif

The rest of the gang is all present, though we don’t get as much of Hannah and her nerdiness as I would have liked. Theo and Festos are the most adorable couple ever and Hannah’s new found obsession with Pierce is lovable, even if it does make her into one of those girls who is more interested in her boyfriend than anything else. Poor Hannah actually is as human as the rest of us, with hormones and imperfections.

There was a point while reading this when I panicked. Though I won’t say who, someone dies. An important character dies. I HATE character death and I instantly went into a tailspin. I’m going to have to write a negative review. How can I write an negative review about one of Tellulah’s books?!?!? I love her and all her work. I think I even started hyperventilating at the prospect of putting negative thoughts out about an otherwise amazing series. But I hate character death and I can’t not mention it, right? I can’t write a review without being completely honest and I can’t love something where a favorite character bites the dust. Luckily for me (and all of you) this character doesn’t stay permanently dead. We get a perfectly acceptable loophole for him to be…not dead.

Though I am sad to see it end, the ending itself is perfect. I loved the way Sophie saves the world and the uplifting message that leaves you with. I can’t say much more than that without spoilers, but more novels should end with that particular moral in mind. This is everything I wanted when I started it. You get deep emotional drama and trauma along with Sophie’s signature level of snark. You get Kai’s swooniness (though it takes a bit of time to manifest). You get to see all your favorite characters get the happy ending they deserve. The only thing it’s missing is comeuppance for Bethany, but it’s okay because the way the last scene with her is written is better. I can’t express how thrilled I am to have had the opportunity to read this amazing series and how utterly sad I am to see it end. I feel the textbook definition of a book hangover. What am I supposed to do now?
Community sobbing gif

When all is said and done, I truly recommend not only this book and this series, but anything Tellulah Darling plans to write. She will surprise you with her ability to make you laugh and cry. Her ability to write in a realistic teenage voice never fails to surprise. She writes in a way that truly reminds me of Jennifer L Armentrout and that is a compliment of the highest order. Seriously, pick up My Ex From Hell if you haven’t already because it’s exactly what you didn’t know you were looking for and you’ll thank me later.

****Thank you to Tellulah Darling/Te De Media for providing me with an eARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review****

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Review for A Date Of Godlike Proportions (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2.5) by Tellulah Darling

A Date Of Godlike Proportions by Tellulah Darling

TITLE: A Date Of Godlike Proportions
SERIES: The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2.5
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: December 20, 2013
PUBLISHER: Te Da Media
PAGES: 28 pages
FORMAT: Ebook
SOURCE: Purchased
RATING: 5 bows

Theo and Festos are finally going on their second date. After several thousand years of waiting, there is a lot of pressure on them for this to go well. Festos is over the moon excited and Theo is terrified. Can they make it work.

Theo & Festos? Bring. It. On. This was way too damn short. Can I have more? Please?


Our poor dear Sophie is unconscious, healing from the knife wound to the gut from that crazy bitch and Theo doesn’t want to leave her side, but the rest of the crew more or less drag him out of the house for this epic date. He’s determined to be difficult because he’s scared it’ll turn out badly, even though it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that Festos still loves him. These two are so fucking cute together.

Seriously, more please? No? Well, I already have the next book in the series so I’ll get more soon enough. This tinsy little novella gives you just enough of a taste to whet your appetite for more. I’m gonna tear through the book I’m reading now to get the My Life From Hell. I can’t fucking wait!

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Review for My Date From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2) by Tellulah Darling

My Date From Hell by Tellulah Darling

TITLE: My Date From Hell
SERIES: The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #2
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: October 31, 2013
PUBLISHER: Te Da Media
PAGES: 288 pages
FORMAT: E-ARC
SOURCE: From author
RATING: 5 stars

Sophie’s life is never going to get back to normal. After that fateful kiss from Kai that unlocked her true self (AKA Persephone) and battling a dragon, you think poor Soph could catch a break. Nope, not yet. Zeus and Hades are more determined than ever to find (and destroy) the ritual location, so Sophie needs Persephone’s memories more than anything. The only catch is to unlock those, she must go on a mission for Aphrodite to prevent Hermes from making Bethany a celebrity, all the while acting like she and Kai are on a romantic date. That’s right, Aphrodite thinks the pair should give it the old Greek try and date. Tons of chaos ensues and we’re left wondering, yet again, if Sophie can pull this off.

Sophie is just as snarky and sassy as in MEFH. Smart and very irrational when it comes to all things Kai, Sophie still has that kick-ass heroine vibe that I’ve come to adore. No damsel in distress to be found here. She actually saves Kai a time or two. And speaking of Kai……can I just say wow? I mean, I liked him before even though he was a jackass, but I LOVE him now. He reminds me a great deal of Daemon from Onyx, you know, when D was trying to win Katy. Kai really turns up the charm in this installment, trying to show Sophie that he really does care for her, and not just because she’s Persephone’s reincarnation. Seeing Kai’s sweet side really sealed the deal for me (and for Sophie, though she takes forever to admit it).

Then there is the rest of this ensemble cast. Hannah and Theo, plus a few new additions: Pierce (aka Cupid), Festos, Aphrodite, and Hermes. Hannah is still her normally geeky self, with one glitch: a major crush on Pierce. Watching Hannah try to balance science and attraction was epic. I love that there is an attractive geeky character. I love that Hannah is never portrayed and ugly or mousey, like most geeky or smart characters are. Theo is just as sarcastic and grumpy as ever. I loved Festos immediately. It’s obvious he and Sophie are kindred spirits, being so similar. Pierce I was initially on the fence about, but he won me over. I didn’t care for Aphrodite or Hermes, both seemed like selfish asshats.

I’m still battling with myself over the rating. 4 stars or 5 stars? Goodreads doesn’t allow half-star rating, so there is no viable way to compromise. Ultimately I’m going with 4 because of the major cliffhanger. If you thing the ending of My Ex From Hell was bad, well you were wrong. This is much, much worse. If the novel would have ended a little sooner, it would have been absolutely perfect, but they….he…she…


****SPOILER****It was PERFECT. Kai and Sophie finally admit their feelings and Sophie has recovered Persephone’s memories, though she hasn’t had time to sort through them yet, and then we learn that Felicia is really Demeter and she is the one who killed Persephone because Persephone was a back-stabbing bitch who was going to seize power and leave everyone else in the dust. Which would have been fine, we could live with that, but Kai takes the irrational route and blames Sophie for everything and runs off before saying she betrayed him. Felicia runs away and then Bethany FUCKING STABS HER. Hannah and Theo arrive to find Sophie bleeding out on the pavement and cue curtains. How can you leave me like that? HOW? Stupid Sophie, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL KAI YOU LOVED HIM BEFORE YOUR MEETING? Things would have turned out alright and he wouldn’t have run off then. Hopefully. I NEED the next novel, like I need my next breath.****END SPOILER**** Let’s just say it doesn’t end the way we were all hoping for, K?

This novel was everything I was expecting and more. Sophie’s journey forces her to grow a bit and realize some hard truths. Darling’s writing style is just as believable and honest-feeling as her previous works. I am yet again floored by her ability to create such a realistic, grounded character with all the crazy tearing her world apart. Another accomplishment is the ability to write characters who are similar but still feel different. Sophie and Festos are so close in personality and all of characters show signs of Darling’s signature snarkiness, but they never felt like they were just carbon copies of the original character. They all have enough individuality to make them stand on their own.

She also has this amazing ability to write twists that I didn’t see coming. Call me naïve, but I didn’t see the ending of this coming, at all. It smacked me in the face as hard as it did Sophie and I cannot believe how that all came together. Sophie, with the people and the things, and just…fuck me, that was not what I was expecting. I know I was sincerely (and naively) hoping for a happy-ish ending to tide me over until the final installment and I knew that things wouldn’t go as smoothly as I was dreaming, but DAMN.

In all honesty, I really did love this. In spite of the appalling cliffhanger, it has everything that I need for a book to be shelved with the rest of my favorites. It has the clever dialogue we have come to expect from Tellulah Darling, with a plot that will have you sighing and keep you guessing until the last minute. The tag line from her website is so highly appropriate that it’s what I’ll leave you with: Sassy girls. Swoony boys. What could go wrong?

****Thank you to Tellulah Darling for providing me with a eARC in exchange for an honest review****

Review for My Ex From Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1) by Tellulah Darling

My Ex From Hell by Tellulah Darling

TITLE: My Ex From Hell
SERIES: The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: April 1, 2013
PUBLISHER: Te Da Media
PAGES: 212 pages
FORMAT: E-ARC
SOURCE: NetGalley
RATING: 5 stars




Sorry, I’m just so fucking happy. I’ve been in a reading slump lately where I have enjoyed a few novels, but I’ve not LOVED anything, you know? I’ve found some funny/wacky/amusing/heartful/insert positive adjective here novels lately, but nothing that has made me want to bow down in front of his magnificence. Well, ladies and gentleman, here it is. This novel has me groveling on my knees at its awesomeness and I can honestly say that I loved every minute of it (and am dying on the inside for the next installment).

Sophie Bloom is just your average teenager. Average looks, average grades, with an adoptive mother who saw to it that she was enrolled in a boarding school so she wouldn’t have to put up with her. Everything is quite ordinary…until she kisses a handsome stranger on Halloween and her world is turned upside down. What that oh-so-delicious kiss revealed was that Sophie isn’t average after all, she’s really Persephone, the Greek goddess of Spring. Wait, what?!? That’s right kiddies, Sophie is really a goddess and she is smack-dab in the middle of a war between Zeus and Hades who both want her dead. Then there is her ex, Kai, son of Hades (aka mysterious kissing stranger). Things between these two are complicated at best. So much for a semester of worrying about teenage drama and backstabbing, yoga-pants wearing bitches, Sophie’s off to fight the baddies, slay a dragon, and save humanity…if she can pull it off.

Where to start? I guess I’ll go for Sophie first. She is the absolute perfect heroine. Snarky and sarcastic, she was had me giggling and rolling my eyes at/with her within the first few pages of the novel. She’s that heroine that it is entirely too easy to sympathize with as she is dragged along on this thrill ride, whether she likes it or not. Then there is Sophie’s best friend, Hannah, who is one of the greatest supporting characters ever. She’s brainy and busty and over-protective, with just the right of amount of bossiness to keep Sophie in line. I loved the two of them together. I loved that when Sophie finds out that she’s a goddess, the first thing she does is demand to see Hannah to tell her about it. Not for one second did she contemplate leaving Hannah in the dark to “protect” her or some other such bullshit.

The only character I’m undecided about is Kai…and that’s probably the point. One minute I’m lusting away after him (just like Sophie) and the next I want to assist Sophie in the nailing the bastard to the wall while inflicting several thousand paper cuts along his body then dousing him in salt and lemon juice so they all feel like they are on fire. Apparently Kai and Persephone had some kind of epic romance, star-crossed lovers and all that. They defied everything to be together, but his royal Dickhead can’t seem to decide if he wants to help Sophie or just fuck with her head. Trying to figure out whether to root for the pair to work it out or to see them in a knock-down drag-out brawl was enough give me a headache.

I am quickly discovering that I one of the most important things for me in any story is the characters. I have to like (hopefully love) at least a few of them to become invested in the story. This novel succeeds not only on that front, but has all the things necessary for me to adore it. It has amazing characters, clever dialogue, just the right amount of humor to keep me smiling, and a plot that even kept me guessing. Even with all these amazing things, the one thing that stands out even more is Tellulah Darling’s writing style. She manages to flawlessly pull off the wholly believable voice of this teenage girl. It’s so utterly true to life. I absolutely adore it and I recommend it to everyone.

****Thank you to Te Da Media for providing me with an eARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review****

Review for Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling

Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide To Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling

TITLE: Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide To Getting Girls
AUTHOR: Tellulah Darling
PUBLICATION DATE: October 17, 2012
PUBLISHER: Independent
PAGES: 244 pages
FORMAT: E-ARC
SOURCE: NetGalley
RATING: 5 stars

Ally just got dumped by her boyfriend of two years and is ready to get over it. So instead of moping around the house eating ice cream and wearing pajama’s all day, she asks her best friend Sam to teach her his patented technique for “screwing around and then screwing off.” No more serious relationships, just a series of one night stands where all parties leave satisfied. This, she decides, is the best way to avoid getting dumped for another girl ever again. But what happens when she starts to having feelings for one of the one night standers? For this to all work, Sam decides she’ll need a makeover, but then he realizes that this brainy BFF is hot and can’t help by be turned on by her.

This book gets 5 stars if only just for the blunt manner in which it is written. It is very rare to read a YA book that talks about teens having sex. More than that, teens having a lot of sex without any real guilt attached to that idea. Or, even more than that, about a female teen character who actually wants sex without strings. Most adult writers are appalled by this idea. Hormone filled teens actually want to have sex?!?!

Finally an author who doesn’t hide behind religious or the mythical idea of morally good or bad and is just honest about it. I absolutely loved it. I loved watching Allie transform under Sam’s tutelage and then seeing her take that knowledge and decide exactly what was right for her. I loved the way it ended as well. I think anyone who picks it up can tell right from the beginning where it is going and that was the perfect place for the story to end. I loved the whole thing, especially the makeover bits.

That being said, I know plenty of people who would absolutely despise it. Fair warning to anyone picking up this novel, it contains cursing and discusses sex explicitly. I happened to find it refreshing, but like everything else, it isn’t for everyone. If these things don’t bother you and you are looking for a more honest take on teen relationships, please read this novel. It’s laugh out loud funny with a heartfelt storyline underneath.

****Thank you to Te Da Media for providing me with an eARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review****