Review for Alpha (Alpha #1) by Jasinda Wilder

TITLE: Alpha
SERIES: Alpha #1
AUTHOR: Jasinda Wilder
NARRATOR: Summer Roberts & Tyler Donne
PUBLICATION DATE: April 29, 2014 / May 27, 2014
PUBLISHER: Seth Clarke / Seth Clarke
PAGES: 450 pages / 11 hours 49 minutes
FORMAT: Audiobook
SOURCE: Review copy via Audible
RATING: 3 bows

Kyrie St Clair is out of options. She has lost her job, she is behind on her rent, and she has people depending on her to get the bills paid. So when a check for ten grand shows up in the mail, addressed to her with no return address and a memo simply reading “you”, she cashes it. She has no other choice. When a second check shows up, with a more ominous “belong” on the memo line, she is even more worried, but she cashed the first, so she might as well dig her hole deeper. A third reading “to me” completes the statement and Kyrie knows she is in a world of trouble. But nothing happens. She receives a check each month for an entire year before a man in a suit shows up at her door to collect her. It’s time to pay her debt and she has no choice but to go with the man to meet her fate. What will that bring? You’ll have to read to find out.

At first, I sympathized with Kyrie. It’s hard not to with the situation she is in. Her dad is dead, her mom is crazy, and someone has to pay her and her brother’s college tuition. She has been dealt a hard hand, there is no doubt about that. But, with bills piling up for her tuition, her brother’s tuition, her mom’s medical care, and basic living expenses, why the hell would you choice a career path for a social worker?

Regardless of the fact that you need a masters degree to even get in the door in that profession, it won’t pay enough to take care of your own college debt, much less support anyone else. The very first thing she should have done was change her career path. It doesn’t really seem like the right choice for her. At no point did I see her as an overly caring individual meant to spend her days helping the less fortunate. I’m not saying she should give up all her dreams, but part of the growing up act is realizing what you can and can’t have. Also, tell your brother to start helping out! He is just as capable of getting a job to at least contribute a little!

And the further I got into the novel, the more irritated I became with her. I understand you have no real choice in this situation, but for someone so determined to stand on her own and pay her families bills, you sure do hand over that control pretty quickly. Roth makes it clear that you are free to leave whenever you wish, so why not?

Speaking of Roth, I can’t say I’m a fan. I didn’t dislike him, but I’m not a huge fan of that whole Alpha male thing and this guy is a bit too controlling for my liking. He actually wasn’t too terribly bad on the alpha male side and he demands that Kyrie knows everything is consensual and he won’t even hurt her. I don’t understand his fascination with her. She’s not that amazing, but I digress. You don’t learn very much about him and anything I say could be counted as a spoiler since you don’t learn much until closer to the end.

Plotwise, this was fine, if predictable. There are certain twists you see coming miles away. If you are looking for a story to shock you with plot-twists, this is not it. I went in expecting a little more meat to the story. I went in expecting a story with a bunch of sex and instead got the novel equivalent of a porno. I realize that I asked for that in some ways because this is labeled an erotica novel, but I felt like it was a bit over the top. In all fairness, I’m not sure if this is because it really is worse than you’re typical erotica novel or if that was just the added effect of listening to it on audio. When reading, you can skim over parts and skip things, like excessive endearments or exclamations (trust me, I’ll get to that in a moment), but you can’t do that with audio. Or, I imagine you could, but it would be tricky to do so without missing something important.

If I’m being completely honest, there were several things that bothered me about this and it’s quite possible that it’s just me being picky. Regardless, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention them. The #1 thing that irritated me above all else was the repeated mention of how huge this guy’s dick was. I got it the first time you said it, okay?

This is an erotica novel, so you can mention it a time or two more, because…well, just because I’m in an giving mood.

But this goes above and beyond. I’ll leave out my opinions on romance novels going overboard with the whole “I want a guy with a cock so huge that it literally hurts me to fuck” cliche. Maybe I’m sheltered, but I just don’t understand the appeal.

But this novel mentions it every at least once every 20 minutes after the first time she sees it.

I’m not exaggerating on that. She goes on and on (and on and on and on) about it. I UNDERSTAND! The man’s dick is the size of my forearm. Mental image is a check there. I DON’T NEED YOU REPEATING IT AD NAUSEAM. It got old, really fucking fast (tehehe, did you see what I did there?). And just when you thought she has accepted this fact, she’d go on and on again.

Even if I let that particular pet peeve go, I have a logistics question for you. If he is so big, does it not follow that she will be tight to him?

Obviously she is not used to getting it on with someone so well endowed, since she makes such a big deal about it? Also, let me clarify here that when she says “big,” she is referring to girth as well as length. It’s like putting a rubber band that is made to fit around a cucumber over a soda bottle. Will it stretch to accommodate? Most likely, but it’ll be a tight fit!

The other thing that annoyed me was that Roth was so damn handsome. Yes, I understand that this is a fantasy and all (hence the enormous cock), but why must the man be so pretty that it hurts. That kinda kills the fantasy for me because it’s so far from the realm of normal. If I fantasize about someone gorgeous like Matt Bomer, I’m eventually going to be less focused on the smexiness and more focused on what the hell Matty is doing with someone normal like me. Especially considering the man I picked for me fantasy land is very very gay.

In all seriousness, I’m sick of reading about inhumanly pretty guys. Can’t I have an normal guy? An average guy who is attractive but someone flawed? And by flawed, I don’t mean deeply mentally and emotionally scarred by a depressing past? Is that too much to ask?

Basically, I was a bit disappointed with this. I will definitely be steering clear of the audio versions of erotica novels for a while.
If you like erotica with it’s over-exaggerations, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy this. If you are looking for something a bit deeper to connect with, look elsewhere.

Audio notes
Ummm…Summer was okay? I didn’t love her or hate her, she was just in the middle somewhere. Decent narrator with average pacing and voice differentiation. There was nothing particularly amazing about her performance, but that very well may be because of material given. I’ll keep my mind open for her and definitely give another novel narrated by her a chance. As far as Tyler goes, you don’t get much to go on. For those who see two narrator names and expect this to be told in dual perspectives, please let go of that notion now. It isn’t. You get a itty bitty bit of Roth perspective at the very end and I’m not overly impressed with the tiny bit Tyler did. He was mediocre at best. I won’t avoid a novel narrated by him, but I’m definitely not going to seek it out.

****Thank you to Esther Bochner at Audible for providing me with an audio copy in exchange for an honest review****

Promo for The Reality O by Candy Sloane

 

  

Thank you for joining us in the promotional event for The Reality O by Candy Sloane, aka Lisa Burstein, hosted by Wordsmith Publicity. Be sure to check out the excerpts, guest posts, and more!

 

 

 

 

Title: The Reality O

Author: Candy
Sloane/Lisa Burstein

Age
Group: Adult

Genre: Comedy/Erotic
Romance

Add The Reality O on GoodReads

Purchase The Reality O for only $0.99!

Amazon  |  Barnes & Noble  |  iTunes

About a year ago a book
titled Sneaking Candy was released. It was about a creative writing graduate
student (Candice Salinas) and her erotic romance author alter-ego (Candy
Sloane). Readers fell in love with Candy and so did author Lisa Burstein. 

Lisa fell so much in
love SHE WROTE A BOOK as Candy Sloane.

The Reality O is Candy
Sloane’s first standalone debut erotic romance novel, but it may not be her
last…

 

 

Fifteen Contestants, Twelve Episodes & One Chance to Rock Her WorldWhen my best friend Allie posted about my need for an inaugural O on a
prominent dating website it was meant to be a joke.

A joke she was supposed to delete.

But her post started an internet and media frenzy and, when I was offered fifty
thousand dollars to star in my own reality competition show, I had no choice
but to say yes.

The show was supposed to help me meet a carnal companion who could finally
bring me to climax.

Unfortunately, the one person I want to win the undying allegiance of my, well,
you know, can’t be in the running at all.

Now in an L.A. mansion with fifteen very persuasive contestants vying for my
attention and one undeniably sexy Production Assistant secretly getting it all
the word ACTION has a whole new meaning…

Author’s Note: This book is about
sex. There are men kissing women, women kissing women, and men kissing lady
parts. It is not meant for readers under eighteen, or my mother.

 

You certainly don’t have to read Sneaking Candy before you read
The Reality O, but if you would like to it’s $1.99 right now on all e-book
platforms! 

Find more information about Sneaking Candy here!

 

Entangled Publishing  |  GoodReads  |  Amazon
|  Barnes
and Noble  |  iTunes

 

 

**Please include at least one promotional item in your post**

About the Author

https://twitter.com/CandySloane

Candy Sloane is
an erotic romance author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the
New Adult Novel Sneaking Candy. The Reality O is her
debut novel.

Lisa Burstein is
the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New
Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility
of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband,
a neurotic dog and two cats. 

Website | Twitter | Facebook | GoodReads

MY REVIEW

Chris has had the big O, just never from anyone else besides herself. Despite multiple attempts, no guy has managed to please her. After Allie, her best friend jokingly posts a Craigslist ad look for a talented man to liberate Chris that goes viral, Chris is swept away in a MTV offer to make a reality show about The Orgasm Virgin. From there she meets eleven men and four women willing to try to rock her world the way no one before them has. She also meets Scott, the completely hot (and completely off limits) production assistant. With each day that passes forcing Chris to consider these people and the reality of getting busy with one of them (and NOT Scott), the more she wonders if signing up for a reality show was really her best idea. Will she finally find the big O with some else, or will she head back home to her library just as unsatisfied as she arrived?

I loved Chris almost immediately. She’s somewhat deprived, spending her days in a library rather than carousing with the “normal” people and mostly she likes it that way. But there are moments when hearing about Allie’s sexscapades make Chris incredibly jealous and that’s something I can always relate to. That’s the same feeling I get when I read those romance novels where couples go at it consistently. Food, hydration, work, normal life are all apparently not as important as going one more round. I’m always awed and a little jealous of those fictional worlds. It was nice to read about a heroine who was out of the loop for once instead of the party girl. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that she is a librarian. I was not determined enough to get a masters of library science, but I have to admire those who do. Where would be we without them? It saddens me that they are becoming a little obsolete in this digital age. ANYWAY, Chris is that best friend who is a bit more straight laced than her friends. She seemed more of a normal girl character, but a realist one, not the ideal one we get fed in a lot of novels. I was immediately rooting for her to find her magical orgasm…and hopefully a nice boyfriend too. I wasn’t disappointed.

I didn’t love Scott immediately. I felt like he was risking A LOT just to sleep around with Chris and I didn’t know if that was justified. I mean, the boy has worked towards getting his own show for a while and now, on the cusp of that dream becoming a reality, he is willing to throw it all away to sleep with this one girl? I mean, I get attraction and lust and all that, but really, is it that preposterous to think that he couldn’t have waited 2 weeks for the filming to be over to go after her? Maybe that’s just me, but I felt like his interest was a little too much too quickly. Beyond that, though, he is sweet and thoughtful and does everything to help Chris through this mess she has gotten herself into. He laughs at her jobs, cracks ones of his own, and does everything he can to support Chris and lighten her load on the show. He is always there with advice and alcohol (because, really, there is no way for a shy-ish librarian to get through this without copious amounts of booze) in the background for the taking.

What I really loved about this was the humor. This is laugh out loud funny, with awkward moments, dirty sex jokes, and even a few smart jokes tossed in just to throw you off. Page one will have you snorting, page two will garner a laugh, and things escalate from there. I don’t think I stress enough how important comedy is in novels, but it really is a necessity. I hope I see more novels like this. I need more erotica that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

The only thing I didn’t like was that this felt too short. An argument can be made that a well written (and entertaining) novel always feels too short, but this felt especially….clipped? I would have liked to have seen more of the interactions with the contestants and rounded that side out. We know pretty early on where this is going to go and who Chris fancies, but I just felt like some scenes where cut short or a bit more explanation would have helped. Or even just added fluff to allow me time to digest what I’ve read. It was just one thing straight after another with little space between to really get a feel for what just happened. Leaving me wanting more is definitely the best probably to have in any novel, so I guess I can’t complain too much, right?

This is the second novel I’ve read this year labeled erotic comedy and I hope this becomes the next big trend because I definitely need more of this in my life. I know dark romance and new adult is all the rage right now and there are great, but don’t we need something a little lighter? Isn’t there room for more fluff? I certainly hope so. This novel was everything I expected it to be and more. I must admit that when I initially read Burstein’s Sneaking Candy, I never expected her to actually write Candy Sloane’s book, but I’m incredibly glad she did! This novel has the humor and the heart to keep me begging for me. I will happily continue to devour anything else Candy (and Lisa) decides to write!

****Thank you to Lisa Burstein and WordSmith Publicity for providing me with a digital copy in exchange for an honest review****

 

Blog tour for For Authentication Purposes by Amber L Johnson

 

 

Presents…

 

For Authentication Purposes

by Amber L. Johnson

Release Date: March 5th , 2015

Published by The Writers Coffee Shop

Genre: New Adult Romance / Contemporary Romance / Romance Erotica / Humor

ISBN e-book: 978-1-61213-387-4 

Available from: Amazon, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and TWCS PH

~~SUMMARY~~

Dawn Sims has made a name for herself writing romantic fiction online. When she’s pushed to try her hand at publishing, she thinks she has everything figured out. The only problem? She’s never been in a relationship, especially one that has led her to finding The Big O.

So much for writing what you know.

Warner Green has had Dawn in his sights since she walked into his class in seventh grade. She broke his teenage heart not once, but twice, so seeing her in his night class at the local community college was an unexpected surprise.

Accidentally reading her bad erotica on her laptop was a blessing from the Smut Gods themselves.

It’s clear she has no idea what she’s writing about, but Warner does. In fact, he knows so much that he’s willing to offer her his services. The deal is simple: teach the good girl from high school everything she needs to know to write from experience. If he gets to live out a fantasy or two that he’s been harboring for almost a decade, then there’s no harm in that either.

The lessons turn more heated, and Dawn begins to question where Warner has learned his skills, but he’s not ready to talk, until his past comes back to haunt him at the worst possible time.

It shouldn’t matter when it’s for authentication purposes only.

 

Goodreads * Add to Want To Read List

 

~~EXCERPT~~

“Come on. Say it. I know where you’re going.”

Shifting a little to look at him, I resisted the urge to kick him in the nuts and lick his neck at the same time. I mean he looked pretty hot sitting in my chair eating that muffin. Stupid handsome face and fornication hair paired with what I assumed were dirty jeans and a plaid flannel.

“Fine. I’m going to buy a vibrator with the money you gave me. Happy?”

His smile was in full force now. “Hell yeah, I’m happy. Ecstatic, even.” He chewed around the pastry in his mouth and laughed. “I’ll come with you to make sure you get the right one.”

“Oh, hell no. Being with you in a porn shop is on my list of Things to Never Do before I Die.”

 

~~ABOUT THE AUTHOR~~

A true child of music, Amber’s parents surrounded her with the loudest beats they could find, molding her into a girl who found inspiration and meaning in lyrics and chords. Raised on John Hughes movies, Luck Dragons, and pirate ships, she dreamed of love and adventure. When Amber began to create her own world, she envisioned a place where Happy Ever Afters do exist. Since then, she has authored several romance novels, all of which focus on songs and the way they can touch people’s lives. Music may not be able to fix a broken heart, but it can provide one hell of a soundtrack for healing.A full-time wife and mother with a full-time job, Amber finds her muse in everyday life and the people who bring her inspiration.

 

Be sure to look for Amber’s other books!

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

~~CONNECT WITH THE AUTHOR~~

Twitter * Facebook * Goodreads * Website

 

Praise for For Authentication Purposes

“Hot! Great UST, very funny, and I loved the characters. Another great one from Amber. ” – Andrea

Goodreads Review

 

~~My review~~

Dawn Sims has been writing romantic fanfiction online for a while. Bolstered by the encouragement of her fans, she strikes out to write a novel…and quickly learns that she sucks at writing smut. Warner Green comes across her very poorly written sex scene and knows that whatever God exists is smiling down on him. He has had a thing for Dawn since the first day he spotted her in middle school. She broke his heart, but he never could forget her, and now is his opportunity to cash in his years of waiting. He offers Dawn string-free smut lessons. After all, she can’t write a full range of smut if she hasn’t experienced it for herself, right? When Dawn agrees to this, he is beyond happy. But soon, Dawn starts to wonder where all his sexual prowess stems from and is asking questions he’d rather not answer. As the two grow closer, will they make it work or is the relationship doomed to always be for authentication purposes?

I could relate to Dawn pretty easily. Now, for all of you wondering, I’m not secretly typing away writing smutty fanfics online in my spare time (spare time? Between work and blogging and reading and reviewing, I HAVE NO SPARE TIME. I don’t know how people with kids get anything accomplished). I just understand the whole “I was the smart one in high school, but ended up not doing anything academically” thing. Of course, Dawn flunked out of college and I just never finished, so there are some differences, but I still understand her mentality. Her attempt at writing a romance novel was atrocious. I was immediately worried when I started this.

I really thought the opening scene was the intro and that the novel would progress in that manner. That thought was not appealing. Luckily, that is not the case. Dawn has a long way to go until she is up to my standard for romance novels.

But she was pretty entertaining to watch.

Warner was the character I loved immediately. He was cute and funny and confident and completely annoying. I love that whole I’m going to annoy you into loving me bit. It really amuses me. He just amuses me in general. He’s adorable and sweet, a combination I’m a complete sucker for.

What I loved about this is that it’s exactly what it sounds like. Amusing, smut filled scenes with a deeper story hiding behind. I love books that make me laugh. Actually, it’s pretty much a requirement for me to love a novel. I read to escape and escaping should make me happy. Smiles are the physical manifestation of happy. That’s the biggest part of this for me. It was amusing smut. How can you not love amusing smut? Warner and Dawn get it on and then Dawn starts to fall for him just a little. He just falls harder (hehehe) for her. This contains that teenage boy humor that we all kinda roll our eyes at, but internally giggle along with.

What I didn’t love? Well, it feels a bit under-developed. I read an ARC, so it’s quite possible that this has been polished up and added to and my problem is irrelevant, but it felt too short. The scene changes were a bit abrupt and all the scenes with Warner’s friends had an unfinished feel. Like it was missing a few extra lines of dialogue or action of some kind. Also, I hate the word jizz.

Seriously, there probably is not a euphemism for semen that I care for, but jizz just might be my least favorite. This is a problem for me with all romance novels. I hate the euphemisms. They all suck. I realize that the normal medical terms are determinedly unsexy, but I’ve yet to read a good alternative!

Really, this is exactly what the title implies, amusing smut. Sure, it delves into a deeper level, but I requested it for the smut (and because of the pretty cover) and I wasn’t disappointed. If you are looking for something to make you laugh or just not your typical romance novel, this is for you!

****Thank you to The Writer’s Coffee Shop Publishing House for providing me with an eARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review****

Review for Chlorine & Chaos (Flawed Heroes #1) by Jessalyn Jameson

TITLE: Chlorine & Chaos
SERIES: Flawed Heroes #1
AUTHOR: Jessalyn Jameson
PUBLICATION DATE: March 10, 2015
PUBLISHER: Independent
PAGES: 219 pages
FORMAT: eARC
SOURCE: From author
RATING: 4 bows

Sage Shepard and Brandon Tiggs had their epic high school fling, but that was YEARS ago. Things didn’t really end on a good note and both parties have spent the past seven years trying to get over it. Now, Sage is back in town and unintentionally walks right into Brandon’s life. She takes a job as the school nurse at her old high school only to learn that Brand is the swim coach at that very same school. Brand is in the middle of a divorce. But once he sees Sage, he is determine to win her back and right his post-graduation mistakes. Sage knows they have too much history to really make this work, but that doesn’t stop her from dreaming about being in Brand’s arms and working it out anyway. As their passion burns bright and their minds take the backseat, can Sage and Brand overcome their problems or will the past ruin their future?

I couldn’t help sympathizing with Sage from page one of this novel. She has been in such bad situations and you have to applaud her for overcoming that and making it through college. She broke out and did what she needed to do. She has my respect for that. She’s smart and devoted to her brother, making sure she can care for him they way he needs it regardless of her needs or wants. You kinda feel bad for her because she went from doing what her foster families demanded to doing what was required to keep her brother. She never really seemed to get a time when she was just living for what she wanted and needed. The only time she seems to get for herself are the moments she hits the bars looking for her next one night stand. Considering all the vices in the world, this one is not a bad choice. She makes a point always use protection and she’s a grown woman who is making her own choices, so more power to her. I still kinda feel like the poor girl needs a hug….and a lllloooonnnnnggggg vacation.

I was (kinda still am) on the fence about Brand. On one hand, he’s smart and sweet and hot and all that jazz. He obviously loves Sage and has made a point to watch out for her brother while she’s been gone, which wins him brownie points. But he’s a cheater and I have big issues with that. Every time I started to swoon over him even a little, that little voice in the back of my head yells “CHEATER! CHEATER!” and I’d lose a bit of that love that was growing. I understand that this was YEARS ago, but it still stayed in my mind. I get that Sage had reasons for wanting to keep their relationship hidden. The repercussions of putting that out in the open for her were unimaginable for teenage Sage, but that doesn’t mean Brand needs to stay with someone else. That doesn’t mean that Brand can’t just be “single” instead of stringing this poor girl along for years and years. That makes me think less of him. I had a hard time respecting him. I’ve been told (on numerous occasions) that I have very high standards and am not very forgiving and this is probably the best example of that. I can’t forgive that sin. Brand and Sage have that all consuming love/passion thing going on that we all dream about as teens, but that doesn’t justify hurting Rosie the way he does. Be a man and be honest. The fact that he goes on to marry Rosie, knowing that he doesn’t love her and probably will never love her? Well, that doesn’t help.

So, obviously, the cheating thing was a bit of an issue for me. I also got a bit tired of the strobe light relationship (that term was completely stolen from The DUFF film). There is quite a bit of history between these two and add to that the fact that they keep fucking up in present day, and it’s expected that there will be quite a few problems. These two are champs at avoiding them instead of confronting them head-on. While I can relate to that trait (procrastinators unite….tomorrow), by the third split, I was rolling my eyes a bit. Work it out or let it go! DON’T YOU DARE START SINGING FROZEN! I completely support the whole theory that happy endings don’t come easy, but it doesn’t make it easy for me to accept the on again off again thing. It’s probably because I’m not every forgiving, so I couldn’t see myself ever giving an ex a second chance. There was a reason we split up and that reason is probably still relevant now. Regardless of why, that and the cheating thing did bug me a bit.

Enough of what I didn’t like! Let’s have what I enjoy! The writing is amazing. The plot felt very put together and planned. And the chemistry between the characters was perfect. Then there was all the smut. I knew that part would be good Jessalyn (AKA Jessa Russo) wrote some pretty steam-y scenes in the Ever series and I was excited before I ever started this to see what would happen when we took away the limitations of writing for teens. Jameson manages to toe line between too little description and too much perfectly. I don’t know if that makes sense to everyone else. Let me try to say it different. With erotica romances, there are times I feel like things go too far. I want the smut. I wouldn’t have picked up an erotica novel otherwise, but I feel like a lot of them are over the top. Jameson manages to give me the smut I want without having it feel like a bad porn. Make more sense? Also, the heroine isn’t a stick! Sage has curves! I don’t think she was plus sized, but there was nary a mention of a toned tummy. In fact, there was one spot mentioning Sage being soft which made me smile!

Despite my minor issues, it was incredibly easy to get swept up in the story. I wanted to know more about Sage’s past and what happened to Brand after high school to lead him to his current career. I need to know what exactly happened when the two split for good. I need to know why Brand kept publicly dating someone else when he was clearly head over heels for Sage. Regardless of the genre she chooses to write in, Jameson’s work has that need to read quality that makes you want to forget the world for just one more chapter. What more could you really ask for? I’ll tell you what, you could ask for book 2! I’m certainly ready for it!

Review tour for The Reality O by Candy Sloane

We’re celebrating the release of The Reality O by Candy Sloane, aka Lisa Burstein! If you’re looking for something funny and a bit sexy, check this out!

TITLE: The Reality O
AUTHOR: Candy Sloane (AKA Lisa Burstein)
PUBLICATION DATE: February 23, 2015
PUBLISHER: Independent
RATING: 4 bows
BUY LINKS: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks | Kobo

DESCRIPTION

About a year ago a book titled Sneaking Candy was released. It was about a creative writing graduate student (Candice Salinas) and her erotic romance author alter-ego (Candy Sloane). Readers fell in love with Candy and so did author Lisa Burstein.

Lisa fell so much in love SHE WROTE A BOOK as Candy Sloane.

The Reality O is Candy Sloane’s first standalone debut erotic romance novel, but it may not be her last…

Fifteen Contestants, Twelve Episodes & One Chance to Rock Her World

When my best friend Allie posted about my need for an inaugural O on a prominent dating website it was meant to be a joke.
A joke she was supposed to delete.

But her post started an internet and media frenzy and, when I was offered fifty thousand dollars to star in my own reality competition show, I had no choice but to say yes.

The show was supposed to help me meet a carnal companion who could finally bring me to climax.

Unfortunately, the one person I want to win the undying allegiance of my, well, you know, can’t be in the running at all.

Now in an L.A. mansion with fifteen very persuasive contestants vying for my attention and one undeniably sexy Production Assistant secretly getting it all the word ACTION has a whole new meaning…

Author’s Note: This book is about sex. There are men kissing women, women kissing women, and men kissing lady parts. It is not meant for readers under eighteen, or my mother.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

https://twitter.com/CandySloane

Candy Sloane is an erotic romance author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult Novel Sneaking Candy. The Reality O is her debut novel.

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats.

Contact Links: Website | Twitter | GoodReads | Facebook

MY REVIEW

Chris has had the big O, just never from anyone else besides herself. Despite multiple attempts, no guy has managed to please her. After Allie, her best friend jokingly posts a Craigslist ad look for a talented man to liberate Chris that goes viral, Chris is swept away in a MTV offer to make a reality show about The Orgasm Virgin. From there she meets eleven men and four women willing to try to rock her world the way no one before them has. She also meets Scott, the completely hot (and completely off limits) production assistant. With each day that passes forcing Chris to consider these people and the reality of getting busy with one of them (and NOT Scott), the more she wonders if signing up for a reality show was really her best idea. Will she finally find the big O with some else, or will she head back home to her library just as unsatisfied as she arrived?

I loved Chris almost immediately. She’s somewhat deprived, spending her days in a library rather than carousing with the “normal” people and mostly she likes it that way. But there are moments when hearing about Allie’s sexscapades make Chris incredibly jealous and that’s something I can always relate to. That’s the same feeling I get when I read those romance novels where couples go at it consistently. Food, hydration, work, normal life are all apparently not as important as going one more round. I’m always awed and a little jealous of those fictional worlds. It was nice to read about a heroine who was out of the loop for once instead of the party girl. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that she is a librarian. I was not determined enough to get a masters of library science, but I have to admire those who do. Where would be we without them? It saddens me that they are becoming a little obsolete in this digital age. ANYWAY, Chris is that best friend who is a bit more straight laced than her friends. She seemed more of a normal girl character, but a realist one, not the ideal one we get fed in a lot of novels. I was immediately rooting for her to find her magical orgasm…and hopefully a nice boyfriend too. I wasn’t disappointed.

I didn’t love Scott immediately. I felt like he was risking A LOT just to sleep around with Chris and I didn’t know if that was justified. I mean, the boy has worked towards getting his own show for a while and now, on the cusp of that dream becoming a reality, he is willing to throw it all away to sleep with this one girl? I mean, I get attraction and lust and all that, but really, is it that preposterous to think that he couldn’t have waited 2 weeks for the filming to be over to go after her? Maybe that’s just me, but I felt like his interest was a little too much too quickly. Beyond that, though, he is sweet and thoughtful and does everything to help Chris through this mess she has gotten herself into. He laughs at her jobs, cracks ones of his own, and does everything he can to support Chris and lighten her load on the show. He is always there with advice and alcohol (because, really, there is no way for a shy-ish librarian to get through this without copious amounts of booze) in the background for the taking.

What I really loved about this was the humor. This is laugh out loud funny, with awkward moments, dirty sex jokes, and even a few smart jokes tossed in just to throw you off. Page one will have you snorting, page two will garner a laugh, and things escalate from there. I don’t think I stress enough how important comedy is in novels, but it really is a necessity. I hope I see more novels like this. I need more erotica that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

The only thing I didn’t like was that this felt too short. An argument can be made that a well written (and entertaining) novel always feels too short, but this felt especially….clipped? I would have liked to have seen more of the interactions with the contestants and rounded that side out. We know pretty early on where this is going to go and who Chris fancies, but I just felt like some scenes where cut short or a bit more explanation would have helped. Or even just added fluff to allow me time to digest what I’ve read. It was just one thing straight after another with little space between to really get a feel for what just happened. Leaving me wanting more is definitely the best probably to have in any novel, so I guess I can’t complain too much, right?

This is the second novel I’ve read this year labeled erotic comedy and I hope this becomes the next big trend because I definitely need more of this in my life. I know dark romance and new adult is all the rage right now and there are great, but don’t we need something a little lighter? Isn’t there room for more fluff? I certainly hope so. This novel was everything I expected it to be and more. I must admit that when I initially read Burstein’s Sneaking Candy, I never expected her to actually write Candy Sloane’s book, but I’m incredibly glad she did! This novel has the humor and the heart to keep me begging for me. I will happily continue to devour anything else Candy (and Lisa) decides to write!

****Thank you to Lisa Burstein and WordSmith Publicity for providing me with a digital copy in exchange for an honest review****

Review for Distance Desires (Part I) by Cambria Hebert

TITLE: Distant Desires – Part I
AUTHOR: Cambria Hebert
PUBLICATION DATE: June 12, 2014
PUBLISHER: Cambria Hebert Books LLC
PAGES: 61 pages
FORMAT: ebook
SOURCE: Purchased
RATING: 4 bows

Sophie Perez is just a normal woman, living a normal life, working a normal job. On the way home from work one night, her car breaks down, which is nothing otherworldly….until the flashing lights appear. She doesn’t believe in aliens, but it’s difficult to deny when she is taken aboard a space ship. It is unclear exactly what they want, but it is clear that she has no say in the matter. The only question is whether she’ll make it back to Earth or if she’ll stay their captive!

This is an odd little story. I knew it would be when I started it. Cambria made it abundantly clear this would be unlike anything else and she certainly delivered on that end. It’s an erotica novella about aliens and the dirty things they could do, if they put their minds to it. I’m still not entirely sure how to review erotic in general, much less something like this. It was enjoyable. It was a quick little read that left you reeling and begging for the next chapter.

The love triangle aspect irked me. You’ve got alien boy on one end (and we aren’t really sure if he’s actually interested in Sophie or if it’s just research stuff) and then the human friend. I’m always rooting for the friend option these days even though they never ever choose the friend. “There’s no spark” and all that jazz. It obviously irks me. ANYWAY. As I said, I’m not really sure what else to say. I don’t really wanna give a detailed account of the erotic bits and my feelings on those ‘cuz that’d just be awkward.

Basically, if you like erotic novels and you are looking for something a little out of the ordinary, this is for you. Though, be prepared, cuz dangerous cliffhangers await in your future!

Review for Big Girls Do It Better (Big Girls Do #1) by Jasinda Wilder

TITLE: Big Girls Do It Better
SERIES: Big Girls Do It #1
AUTHOR: Jasinda Wilder
PUBLICATION DATE: September 2, 2012
PUBLISHER: Independent
PAGES: 29 pages
FORMAT: Ebook
SOURCE: Purchased
RATING: 4 stars

Anna is a big girl. She’s a size 18 and is more than a little self-conscious about it. So when Chase shows up, she knows she doesn’t have a chance in hell, or does she? Chase seems more than a little interested and as the night progresses, she finds out just how much he wants her.

In an epic fit of pile denial, this book was my compromise. It’s short, so I can legitimately allow myself to go ahead and read it while still buried in eARCs because it won’t take more than an hour to finish, and it was just what I needed. Anna is spunky and fun, a strong independent woman who gets caught up in a sexy soon to be rock star. Though Anna and I have some differences, I definitely can relate to her feelings about her size and it was a relief to not be reading about a stick thin girl who never exercises, eats like a cow, and somehow magically stays tiny.

Chase was a leatherpants wearing rock star who is beyond understanding why Anna is uncomfortable about her size. Throughout the whole story, he shows her that he likes her just the way she is and wouldn’t change a thing about her. He’s also drop dead gorgeous with ab muscle to make many a man in Hollywood jealous.

The short story brings the two together and then leaves you with a cliffhanger as Chase gets a very important call and Anna has to decide what she really wants from her life. It’s well written with one hell of a steamy sex scene. I’m definitely excited to see where Anna & Chase end up!

Review for Fifty Shades Freed (Fifty Shades #3) by E.L. James

TITLE: Fifty Shades Freed
SERIES: Fifty Shades #3
AUTHOR: E L James
PUBLICATION DATE: January 19, 2012
PUBLISHER: The Writer’s Coffee Shop Publishing House
PAGES: 551 pages
FORMAT: Ebook
SOURCE: Borrowed
RATING: 3 stars

This book was definitely a rollercoaster ride. There were ups and downs and loop de loops and I think I enjoyed it for the most part. I am going to start off with the things that I found wanting in hopes that it will get it out of my system and then move on to the good bits.

Now, I realize this is an erotica novel. I went into this series knowing that and in the first 2 books, it didn’t bother me at all, but it did in this one. These 2 literally go at it three or four times back to back. They have sex and then 2 seconds later they are ready to go again (and again and again). Then the next night is the same thing. At this point, I just felt like, “hello? Ana? Maybe you should go to bed and get some sleep so that you’ll actually be on time for work in the morning? No? Well, it was just a though!”. Ana’s character flaws really started to show up in this novel. I don’t know if anyone else noticed it because the whole series is focused on how fucked up Christian is, but Ana is no cake walk. She is seriously a completely irresponsible character. I won’t give away spoilers, but some things happened (that I totally saw coming) and I just wanted to scream at her “How could you be so stupid? No, you can’t blame this on your assistant because it was your responsibility!” I really started to feel like she was completely unworthy of Christian.

Now, for the things I enjoyed. For this whole series, I loved watching Christian grow and change and mature. Yes, he may be fifty shades of fucked up, but he is trying to change, and in the end, that has to count for something. His & Ana’s storyline plays out a little predictably, but it still good and engaging (for the most part). I also loved all the minor characters, Kate and Elliot and Mia and Taylor and all the characters you don’t get to see much of because Ana is too wrapped up in Christian to really notice them. It’s not bad, necessarily, it’s just yet another thing that irritated me. I hate it when girls suddenly get a boyfriend and it’s like nothing else matters. You know, those friends tha stuck by you when everything was falling apart and will still be there should this fall apart too? Yeah, they aren’t so important apparently.

Dammit, I was trying to focus on the good. Apparently I can’t. Look, despite all my issues with this novel, it really was good and I do recommend it for anyone who won’t have a problem with graphic sex.

Review for Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades #1) by E.L. James

TITLE: Fifty Shades Of Grey
SERIES: Fifty Shades #1
AUTHOR: E L James
PUBLICATION DATE: April 3, 2012
PUBLISHER: Vintage Books, a division of Random House, Inc
PAGES: 515 pages
FORMAT: Paperback
SOURCE: Purchased
RATING: 4 stars

I first decided to read this when I read somewhere that Ian Somerhalder had expressed interest in this role should a film be made. Now don’t quote me on that because I most likely read it on some gossip site, but regardless, I wanted to read what had sparked so much internet chatter and Ian’s (possible) interest. After reading it, all I can is YES, PLEASE. Even though Ian doesn’t quite match up with the verbal description in the novel, I had this pretty mug:

In my head as Christian Grey. I think another reason I picture Ian is because alternative is picturing Robert Pattinson and no offense to the rabid Rob fans, but he just doesn’t do it for me. I also went into this knowing that it started out as a Twilight fanfic and because of that, for the first 50 or so pages, I kept picking out the uber-Twilight things and tried to line the characters up. I am also insanely addicted to a well known fanfic called Wide Awake and I kept comparing it to that as well. Was this the wrong thing to do? Definitely. Did I do it anyway? Of course. How did it measure up? Well, it’s not quite as simple as that. Once I got past the first 50 or so pages, the comparing part of my brain shut off and the story took over and I’m left with no real point of comparison between these different works. For those looking for a comparison, this is nothing like Twilight so it’s not worth even talking about. To Wide Awake, it’s very different. Christian definitely reminds me of dark Edward, but he has manifested his issues in a completely different manner so the comparison ends there. That is the only big similarity.

Anastasia Steele is a seemingly normal college student getting ready to graduate and Christian Grey is a millionaire with deep-seated issues. When Ana is forced to conduct an interview with Christian for a sick friend, her world changes and not necessarily for the better. Christian shows obvious interest in getting to know her better even though he repeatedly warns her away claiming that he “isn’t the man for her”. Ana, far from understanding his cryptic warnings, pursues the relationship further only to be completely shocked to discover that the type of relationship Christian desires to have with her is something not even her wickedest fantasies could conjure up. Her world is thrown upside down when he hands her a contact outlining exactly what he wants. In the simplest terms, he wants to be her master….in all things. Ana is beyond shocked and scared by this but she wants a relationship so she swears to try. Meanwhile, Christian is having to redefine what he really wants because he knows he wants Ana and that she doesn’t fit into the role he wants her in. He values control over all things and that precious control seems to evaporate whenever she is around. Will she play the submissive to his dominate? Will he change his mind and settle for a normal relationship? Well, you’ll have to read it to find out since these days I’ve striving for spoiler free reviews.

I think I was blown away by this book. The characters are so well thought out and the novel has so many ups and downs that you really don’t know what is coming next. I loved that Ana really thinks hard about this relationship and negotiates the terms, staying firm on the things she absolutely will not tolerate and caving on the things she thinks he has to have. I felt like this was really a struggle for her, as it should be. It wasn’t just “oh, he wants to torture me in his red room of pain….well, I don’t want to but I really wanna fuck him so okay”. I also like that even though this is all through Ana’s perspective, you can see Christian is struggling to please her. It’s obvious to everyone but Ana that he is smitten with her and will almost anything to keep her. Kate (Ana’s best friend) was also a great character. She is fiercely protective of Ana but understands that she should back off when Ana wants.

And the smut. Jesus fucking christ, the smut. I read romance novels on a regular basis and this damn book had me fucking blushing. Not an easy feat. I guess that’s what I get for reading a book labeled “erotic fiction”. I felt like I was watching a BDSM porno in my head….which brings questions to mind of how they really intend to make this a film. The director is going to have to a genius with camera angles is all I’ll say.

And the ending. I really want to be angry with the ending, but I find that I can’t. Maybe because it doesn’t feel like and ending to me ****SPOILER****or maybe it’s because I know their separation won’t last long.****END SPOILER**** But either way, I was irritated but not upset with it. It truly didn’t feel like an end. It felt more like the author sat down and wrote the entire trilogy and then since the publisher’s are keen on 1500 page books decided to break in down to 3 novels and this was a logical stopping point. Did anyone else feel that way or was it just me?

Anyway, it was a really addictive and enjoyable read and I’ll be going out this afternoon to pick up the sequel. I recommend it to those brave enough to try it, it’s not for the faint of heart.