So I’ve been bouncing around the idea of writing a rant about several things about romance novels that have been bugging me lately. I’ve been trying to gather my thoughts and just get up the energy to actually write the post. Then I was bouncing around on booktube as I’ve been doing way too much lately and saw Peace Love Books do an unpopular opinions tag where she mentioned the exact thing that bothers me and I knew I had to write it sooner rather than later. So, here it is, ENOUGH WITH THE PRETTY PEOPLE.
I think this has always been an issue in contemporary romance, but I’ve been noticing it more and more lately and it’s really grating on my nerves. The hero/heroine is so pretty that it just hurts to look at them and I’m tired of it. I’m sick of a pretty man finding a pretty woman and them having pretty babies. Where are the average looking people? Or the ugly people. I mean, no one is truly ugly, but why does it all have to be focused on looks? I mean, why can’t we have a average looking guy who becomes spectacular after the heroine gets to know them? How about the attraction growing over time? How about the flaws becoming our heroines favorite thing about the hero. I mean, it’s not all about looks or fucking hormones. In the beginning, I know that’s what everyone focuses on, but you need more than a gorgeous face/body and some bedroom know-how to make a relationship successful.
I’m just sick to death of the pretty people thing. That’s part of why I loved Liars, Inc by Paula Stokes or Faking Normal by Courtney Stevens. Neither are contemporary romance, both are young adult, but the main guy in both books was average and just reading those words had me loving it all the more. Both are fantastic books in their own right, but that added extra awesomeness. Also, in both, they mention their looks once and move on. Lately novels go on ad nauseam about how pretty they are. Not just in the beginning when the physical appearance of everyone is introduced, but at random moments during the novel whenever it can be fit into the plot. Which makes it all the more annoying. I know, you think he is hot stuff, but I don’t need to be bashed over the head with it every time you feel frisky.
Another smaller proponent of that is the one line of dialogue that has become more irritating to me than the whole “I released the breathe I didn’t know I was holding” line. In every romance novel, in some form, they make remarks on how huge the man’s dick is. And that one line has me rolling my eyes so hard I’m scared I’ll start seeing my brains. Does it have to be huge? Authors! Listen up, if I ever read a book that goes out of it’s way to mention how gloriously average the man’s dick is, I will give it 5 stars. Even if it is the worst book I’ve ever read, I will give it 5 stars just on principle. Seriously. The only time I find this acceptable is in historical romance novels. In those, the female has no way to know what it’s going to look like. Of course it’s going to look huge!
So, yeah, that’s all for today. We had a we need diversity movement, but apparently diversity doesn’t include ugly people, just pretty people with different sexual preferences. I doubt we’ll see that happen, but a girl can dream.