Molly has always had missing moments in her life, but they have increased exponentially in the last year. At least once a week she blacks out, sometimes for just minutes, other times for hours. She wakes up with no recollection of what happened. But now she is starting to remember bits and pieces of her missed time and learning that there is more to her than she ever imagined. She is meeting people who know her, but she never met. She watches a boy she has never met die and cannot shake the knowledge that she knows him. Things unravel quickly, but maybe it’s all for the best.
Molly has a great group of friends and a caring family. She is surrounded by people who genuinely want to help her and yet she has constant fights with depression. Some days, just making herself get out of bed and go to school is a battle of wills. She knows there is no logical reason for her depression and she sees a shrink weekly to talk about her issues and try to help. She has been hiding her blackouts because she knows telling people will be a one-way trip to an padded room, but it’s happening more and more frequently and she is really beginning to worry. What does she do in the missing time? Where does she go? Can people tell that she’s different?
The answer is a pretty straight yes. She is different and people do notice. Some more than others. Her sister always knows, whereas her brother can only see it sometimes. Her other half is extremely talented in acting like her. But there are differences between the two and the more Molly finds out about her other side, the more she wonders how she can never have known, how everyone manages to hide the truth from her.
The detail in this novel is amazing. Molly’s journey was one that kept me on my toes even though you can see where it’s going. But it’s not where it’s going that is the important part, but how. Much of this novel is Molly discovering her past moments, her lost moments. She relives them as if they were happening right now and with each new memory, she learns something new about herself and about Mabel (the other half). She more she learns, the more I wanted to learn. The more I was desperate to know what had cause Mabel to come out in the first place. I had my suspicions, which turned out to be dead-on, but I wanted to know the hows and the whys. I wanted Molly to truly understand and get help for her depression. I wanted Mabel and Molly to “meet” and work as one. I wanted a happy ending all around. The ending, by the way, is happy, but not exactly what I wanted. It’s more realistic than the fantasy I had in my head and maybe it’s better than way.
I keep trying to think of elegant ways to say how amazing this was, but my brain is failing me. More or less, this is what it is saying:
Basically, I loved it…a lot. So there.
This is an intense read, grabbing your attention from moment one and the car accident, until the last few pages when you are wishing so hard that more pages will magically appear because you don’t want it to end. It packs a big punch for such a little novel. I am amazed by the detail Leno has put into this. Don’t go in expecting a cutesy contemporary romance that has a minor mention of a mental disorder because that isn’t what you’ll find. This is much more about Molly’s journey to discover the cause of her problem than it is about the love affair. I absolutely loved every word and I can’t wait to see what else Leno writes. If her next novel is half as good as this one, I will be a happy camper indeed!
****Thank you to HarperTeen for providing me with an eARC via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review****