Okay, the planned post for today (which I still have yet to write) is a discussion post about judging books by their covers. I’m sure once I get around to writing it, it’ll be great, but right now there is something else on my mind. See, as I write this, it’s late Friday night. Being a Friday, I have been to the theater with my friends to see the latest movie, The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, and a promising sequel the much improved Spider-Man reboot?
Count me in! But, after seeing the film, I find I have things to say. So, before proceeding further, you should know the following things:
1. This post will contain an overuse of swear words and gifs.
2. This post will contain spoilers to multiple films and shows, including, but not limited to, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Sherlock Holmes 2, Supernatural, and any more that come to mind while I write this.
You have been warned. Why do movie makers (and tv show makers and authors, for that matter) find character death such a big necessity? What the fuck did I do to you to make you hate me so much? I go the movies for much the same reason I read, to escape reality. To fly away to Never Never Land for a few hours and live in a happy dream-like state. In order for this to be successful, I need the characters to end up happy….and to be happy, they need to be alive. Let me say that again, in order to be happy, the characters must be alive. Breathing and forming cohesive thoughts. This is absolutely necessary. There are very few exceptions to this rule. With everything I watch (and read) my entire opinion always hinges on the ending. I cannot love something that ends badly, which is why cliffhangers are a big pet peeve of mine. How am I supposed to form a star rating for something when my entire opinion hinges on a piece of the story that I have yet to read? Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I find character death unacceptable. I find character death rage inducing and depressing. Obviously those aren’t happy feelings and without happy feelings, I’m not inclined to make happy comments and reviews. I completely understand some reasons for character death. It can motive good guys to be better and push bad guys over the edge. It can inspire great acts of heroism or revenge or just provide the situation required to keep the story moving. I get that, truly, I do. I don’t like it, but I can see why it’s necessary in some occasions. SOME
But movie makers have been over using that lately and it’s really starting to fucking piss me off.
In the case of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, they kill Gwen Stacy. Now, I’ve been assured by everyone around me that her death was “necessary” because Peter is supposed to be with Mary-Jane and Gwen has to be out of the way for that. Now, putting aside the fact that I really don’t like MJ because she’s a whinny bitch, I just have to say fuck you.
I can accept that you people think Peter belongs with MJ….you’re wrong, but fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and all that bullshit. If that’s what you think is necessary, then you had it lined up perfectly. It was goddamn perfect, k? Gwen got accepted into Oxford and was in a cab on the way to the motherfucking airport to leave for England, an ending I wasn’t thrilled with, but I could accept. Because if Gwen goes off to England, that gives Peter time to have his descent into insanity known as the relationship with Mary-Jane, and then Gwen can return from England years later and Peter can come back to his senses. I’m good with that. I’m even good with Mary-Jane biting the dust and then him going back to Gwen. Fine, her death is an acceptable lose. Gwen’s isn’t. I will NEVER buy this movie. Never.
I probably won’t even see any more of the sequels. Why the hell was that necessary? WHY? Can someone explain it to me? Not only does she die, but Spidy is thisdamnclose to saving her. He catches her with his web, but it’s just a tinsy bit too long and she whacks the ground before his web can stop her. It was so viciously heartbreaking and I cannot abide by it. Seriously? Isn’t life cruel enough? Why would you do this to me?
What the fuck have I done to you to desire this? I go to see your films, I give you my hard-earned money to entertain me and this is the thanks I get? Can I just say fuck you once more?
This is exactly the kind of shit that made me stop watching Supernatural. When they killed John, I kept watching. I wasn’t happy about it, but I could see why they chose to have him kick the bucket. Then Bela and Ash and Jo and Ellen and Rufus and then Bobby, which was the final strike. You asshats keep resurrecting Sam and Dean and even Crowley, but not Bobby. For the third time in this post, fuck you. How the hell am I supposed to follow characters and care about their journey when I can easily predict how it’s gonna end? Dead dead dead dead dead.
It was the same story with Sherlock Holmes, killing off Rachel McAdams character within the first half hour of the film. I came so close to just walking out of the theater. I didn’t enjoy the rest of the film at all. Any amusing mayhem or shenanigans were overshadowed by that one moment. I can’t even watch the first Sherlock Holmes film and enjoy it anymore because I know the bullshit they are getting ready to pull on me.
I just..I don’t…I can’t…
I can’t decide if I want to go outside and scream my lungs out or curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. Why is this acceptable? We all know that his movie will be immensely popular and I just don’t understand how you people can stand it. It’s one thing if you are writing about sappy real-life bullshit with cancer where someone just has to die like The Fault In Our Stars (which I will never ever read) and then, shocker, someone dies, but it was completely avoidable in Spiderman and I can’t let it go. You guys just don’t understand, I’m seriously on the brink of tears. I feel like Emma Stone herself has died even though I know that is ludicrous. How could you do this to me Emma? I have loved everything I’ve seen you in…in fact you are enough to push me to watch a film and now I feel betrayed. I went into this so happy and excited and I couldn’t be more fucking depressed right now. I’m going to go and bury myself in a novel now. Thanks for listening/reading my rant. Feel free to comment and tell me how crazy I am for feeling this way! You guys comments always brighten my day, even if you are arguing with me.